The One She Loves...

It began as a small crush...an occasional nighttime snuggle. Gradually, their relationship evolved into a comfort role. And, after nearly a year, it could be termed a full obsession. Constant companions, her best friend. With her through thick and thin - long lonely nights, trips to the doctor, the first day of daycare. Faithful. An ever-listenting ear. There to comfort every tear.

I present to you, Prayer Bear.



Well, this is what Prayer Bear looked like when we first got him. Clean, in a nice blue coat. He didn't look like this for long. Morgan used him as her teether as she cut in her teeth - slobbering on his fur and coat until they were dripped with drool. As time passed, PB (as we called him), developed a scent all of his own. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

So, we searched...and the grandparents searched...and finally, one day, at a Wal-Mart in Ulysses, KS - Grandma & Grandpa found Prayer Bear #2. We now had a PB she could hold - and another we could wash. She was fooled - and Prayer Bear was spared the stench of his earlier days. Two worked so well that we thought we'd try a third Prayer Bear - one to wash, one for home, and one for daycare. But, alas, she caught on and rejected "Benedict" Prayer Bear.

Prayer Bear is Morgan's best friend. She has hit the stage in her life where Prayer Bear does everything that she does, including:








Time Outs













Long Car Rides











Parties















Tricycle Rides

















Sharing Kissables











But tonight, Morgan climbed to all new heights for Prayer Bear. When we put her to bed, she threw Prayer Bear out of bed in her absolute indignation of getting put into bed. After asking her for and not getting an apology, I told Morgan, "Fine, Prayer Bear will sleep with mommy tonight". I scooped him into my arms, shut the door, and went up stairs - her tears and screams of anguish floating up after me.

After a few minutes, I realized that the screams were getting louder....and closer. And, then I realized - Morgan had scaled her crib for the first time to rescue Prayer Bear. You just don't screw around with true love.

One Down

Yesterday was the 2nd time since the kids started daycare, that I picked them up for a reason other than they were sick. The only other time was their 1st first full day of preschool (June 5th). I'm hopeful that we can start a trend.

Daddy's Hat Trick

The kids seemed in fine shape this morning. I, totally WANTING to believe that this little bug might only last for 12 hours, packed them off and dropped them off at daycare. Within 30 minutes, the daycare had called and Tanner had thrown up. Since I had a meeting, Randy went to pick them up. As he scooped up Morgan in one arm and Tanner in the other – Morgan threw up on all three of them.

When they got home, Morgan threw up again in the car. Being the great Daddy he is, he picked her up and hugged her close. He glanced down at her car seat to realize it was full of the brown runny stuff – and then realized that the same brown runny stuff was also down his shirt and work pants.

That’s what I call a Daddy’s Hat Trick – Pissed On, Pooped On, and Puked On all within about an 18 hour span.

Needless to say, I’m now home with two sick kids. Daddy is showered, changed, and back at work. Just praying it doesn’t become two sick kids and one sick husband.

Question: What is 17?

Answer: How many hours will the twins be in daycare before one of them pick something up?


I got a call at 3:45 this afternoon - Morgan was throwing up, although she was acting fine. So, I went and picked them up (I usually go at 4:00, so it wasn't that early). We came home, and she seemed to act fine although a little lethargic.

We decided to give the kids a bath. I undress, get out the pajamas, lay out clothes for tomorrow, pick up, etc and daddy does the tub work. Shortly after putting Tanner down to "go to Daddy", he ran up to Daddy and promptly started peeing on him.

After bathtime, Morgan rocked with me for awhile, and then went to Daddy and wanted "up". As he held her there, I looked at her and thought "uh oh". As I got to them with a towel in hand, Morgan threw up all over Daddy.

So, Daddy had the unique opportunity to be pissed on and puked on in one night.



Now, my only question - what are the odds that The Boy won't catch this bug?

We Haven't Been Kicked Out Yet

Today was the first full day of daycare - and they didn't tell us that we couldn't come back! Hooray for small miracles.

Of course, I'm slightly concerned that they may have my kids confused with someone elses, because when I picked them up, I was told that they were "polite", "helpful", "listened", and "adjusting well". Surely they weren't talking about my two?

Friday was a hard day for us. Not only was Ashely our kid's third parent, she was our friend, too. I know the kids need the stimulation and structure of the daycare, but it hasn't made it any easier. We miss you, Ashley!

The Next Simon?

Is she old enough to have that strong of an opinion?

I’ve commented before that I have a little song I’ve sang for the kids since early in their NICU days. I’m not a singer, and if my kids have any singing talent, well, it certainly didn’t come from my side of the family. However, the kids have always calmed down when I quietly sang to them…their screeches turning to small sobs and finally to quiet observance.

Until the other day…as I start singing to Morgan – she stuck her fingers in her ears and turned her head.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended…

Changing of Guards

Today was the first partial day of Tanner & Morgan going to daycare.

What a radical change...to think that a little less than two years ago, Tanner and Morgan looked like this:















It was the first time that they had gotten to share a crib together, and just a few short days before Tanner was transferred to the University Hospital.

This is what they looked like this morning as they got ready to go into "school" for the first time.




















I don't know whether to be proud or sad. A short two years, and look at how much they've grown. What will they look like when I put up the picture of the first day of kindgergarten?


So, the question of the day: how did they do at daycare? Disappointingly well...is that an acceptable answer? When we dropped them off this morning, Tanner originally stayed very close to Randy's legs. Eventually, he found the books and we pulled up a small chair for him to read. Randy disappeared, and a few short minutes later I slipped out the door. When I peaked in 10 minutes later, they were playing away.

When I returned around 10:30 to pick them up (we're doing partial days today & Friday), Morgan grinned and said "Hi Mommy" as she slid by me in a scooter and Tanner just grinned from across the playground. It took me 20 minutes to drag them off the playground and get them into the car.

The kids spent this afternoon with Ms. Ashley - and they'll have a few hours with her tomorrow, too. It seems weird that I won't be saying "see you Monday" to Ashley and little Ms. Riley. And, I can only imagine the "Ashley" and "Ry-wah?" questions that we'll be getting for the next few weeks.

Tanner & Morgan adore Riley. I truly think that they think she's a sibling. They love to play with her and give her kisses. Riley laughs at Tanner's dancing (well, really, we all laugh at his dancing) and Morgan dotes on her.






(No, we didn't intend on the kids dressing alike today - it just happened that they were dressed very similarly - so we couldn't help but snap a shot.)


It's a difficult transition for us. Not just from the prospective of having them in a daycare, but from the perspective of not having Ms. Ashley around. Ashley has become a member of our extended family and helped us through such rough times. It's impossible to express how truly grateful we are to her for being a part of these formative years of the kids lifes. She has helped mold these two beings into the little people that they are. Thank you, Ashley. Thank you for being a part of our lives and for helping shape these wonderful little people.

Summer Time

To me, summer has always been bookended by Memorial Day and Labor Day. Maybe that is because those roughly corresponded with the end and beginning of school - or maybe because they so closely reflected the gradual warming to the summer's searing temperatures. Either way...this weekend was the kick off to summer.

So, to welcome summer, we pulled out the pool from last year. You know, those little inflatable ones that are $8 from Wal-Mart. We packed it up with us to take to Iowa this weekend since the forecast was 90 F. HOT. So we went, prepared.

Today, the forecast was right on. Daddy got the pool out this morning and spent the better part of the morning figuring out how to patch the hole in the bottom of the pool. But, he was successful, and the kids got to spend about 45 minutes outside after nap playing in the pool.

For fun - here's a picture of the kids last year about this time, in the same pool.





And, this year....








We have a little game we usually play with Tanner were we tease him about eating his "yucky toes" - he then promptly sticks them in his mouth, and giggles madly. Here they both are participating in the fun:






Morgan then got the bright idea that she could jump in the pool - much likes she likes to jump on the sofa - by jumping up and then pulling her feet out from beneath her:






It didn't take Tanner long to figure out that he did not want to be a part of this game:










I think we may have to invest in a larger pool for the rest of the summer....or at least something with higher sides.

Dancing

Tonight, as always, we turned on the radio station while we were getting the kids' pajamas on and ready for bed. As daddy was pulling out pajamas and diapers, the kids started "dancing. But, not just their typical dancing where they stand stationary and "bob" to the music (true to their very caucasion roots) - they grabbed each others hands and began twirling in circles. I have to admit - it was pretty cute.

And, here are the pictures to prove it:






And, my favorite:

Not a Drop Left

Randy & I can be not the most attentive parents. I think it comes from all of those years as being DINKs (Double Income No Kids). We're used to doing something without the disruption that two two-year-olds brings.

On Sunday, after doing a big Target shopping trip, we returned home right around lunch time. The kids needed to eat lunch, and we had food that needed unloaded. So, we started the kids on the oh-so-healthy Kids Cuisine meal that consisted of Taco Chips, little burritos, and cheesy sauce to dip it in. I added some applesauce for some redeaming nutritional value.

Then we started unpacking. We were in the kitchen - right here...so we could hear, and we were loosly watching them while unpacking the bags. And, then I went to the table to check a little closer.

This is what I found....










And, I think he was quite proud of himself.

This is Morg-in

Morgan is cracking me up right now. She's really starting to put a lot of words together - and figuring out how to use them. Unfortunately, one of these words is "no", but we're trying to teach her the appropriate sound level to use that in (NO NO NO is not acceptable, but "no mommy" is).

Her latest thing is whenever she meets someone...or something...new, she introduces herself by pointing squarely at her chest, dropping her head just a little bit and saying "this is Morg-in". When she says her name, it isn't doesn't come out as "Mor-gan", it's more a tin-ny sound - "Morg-in".

And to me, it's just about the cutest thing ever.

A Beautiful Spring Afternoon

Yesterday afternoon, I left work 20 minutes early and went home to my kids. Now, I usually get off at 4 p.m. - so I was home by 3:45. Within about 20 seconds of walking in the door, Morgan had her shoes in hand, and was bringing them to me "outside?" she asked with a hopeful smile on her face.

How could I tell her no - even though I was tired and really just wanted to sit in the recliner and relax? So, I told her "you need some socks to put on your shoes", and my little girl tore off to her bedroom saying "I need some socks, I need some socks" (notice her use of pronouns!). Thirty seconds later she was back with socks. Thirty seconds after that, her brother had brought me his shoes and socks, too.

It was a beautiful, quiet May afternoon. Seventy degrees, sun shining overhead, a slight wind rustling the tree leaves, and birds singing and chirping. The peace interrupted only by the occasional barking dog.

And we swang. Well, "we" didn't - they swang while mommy pushed them. I got to see the looks of pure joy on their little faces with the gentle back and forth motion. A smile that lit up their eyes - sparkling with the joy of being two. I didn't grab the camera, I absorbed the moment into my mind.

After about twenty minutes of swinging, Tanner was done. He wandered around our posh play area and was soon asking me for "more". Finally, I coaxed him into showing me what "more" meant, since I couldn't figure it out on my own. He wanted the bubbles.

As soon as the bubbles were out, Morgan was all done. She wanted in on the action. For another forty minutes, I blew bubbles while my children "ohhhh", "ahhhh", and "weee" at the delightful soap bubbles. They would chase after the bubbles until the were out of reach - or reach for the bubbles and then flinch as the bubbles would go POOF in their face. Smiles slyly returning as they would yell "POP". I too took the time to marvel at the little bubbles - watching them join together occasionally, or seing a twin bubble go by. Oogling the way that you could see the tension in the bubble and the swirl in the surface.



Many times in the rush of they day, I forget to take the time out to enjoy the little moments. They will only be two for a year. I get to experience twice the fun, and the joy of twins, but I only get to experience that unfound joy and the marvel in a child's eye one time. Unlike parents of singletons, I don't get to experience with my first child - and then appreciate it again a few years later as they get older. I only get to do that one time - so I figure I need to make sure I soak it all in while I can.

You Must Be Mistaken

Oh my goodness, the pressure is on. And, why, oh why, is the pressure on!?!? Because, Lisa, Aiden's mom sent you over here to read something funny. Me, funny? No, I don't think so...I think it's my kids that are the funny ones.

Being the mom of twins has not been easy, and as I often point out to my husband, he better be glad we got two the first time, otherwise, I doubt that we'd be having a second. Maybe not, I don't think it would be this hard with one. For my evidence:

1. If we tell one child not to do something, the second one immediately decides that they, too, want to try the same thing. Like climbing on the sofa, smashing food in our fingers, throwing the toys, or eating the dirt.

2. Do you think either child will eat the same thing? No, of course not, they are TWO. I guess the only good thing about that is that Child #1 will usually eat what Child #2 will not, and vice versus. So, somewhere about 1/2 way through the meal, we do a plate swap (yes, for our transplant families out there, I know this is completely not hygenic - but these two share EVERYTHING already).

3. M-I-N-E. That is all two year olds really understand - they don't quite get the concept of sharing. Very difficult when you've operated under the philosophy of "just buy one, they can share it". I totally understand why some twin families have two of everything.


But, really, I do love being a twin mom - it's a novelty. Most people don't get to rock two kids to sleep, watch them play and interact so sweetly. Just last week, our neighbor, Sydney, came over to play. What I often dismiss as routine, Sydney's mom noticed right off - the way they play together. They were standing around the exersaucer, when Tanner hit the music button. They glanced at each other, and at the very same time, started dancing and spinning.

Most people don't get to see such an intense bond between two people - something that will hopefully last them their whole life. I attended a twin's club meeting last week - there were several sets of boy-girl twins there to my great excitement. And, they all said that their best friend was their twin. In fact, one girl twin had just moved back home because she was too far away from her twin brother. Thirty years old, talk every day...I don't have that relationship with my brothers, and I hope that my kids get to share that.

I often worry about whether or not Tanner's liver disease will affect their relationship. Do we give Tanner more attention / time because of his condition? Do we balance that for Morgan? Will she become the protector of her more "fragile" brother? Or will she resent the attention? I haven't quite figured out how to handle the healthy twin / sick twin phenomena. Undoubtedly, it will affect both of them.

Here are some of my favorite "twin" photos of my two....Lisa's favorite one is the double time out picture.

Enjoy!

Tanner & Morgan - being held together for the first time - Morgan reached out & grabbed Tanner's hand. May 2004



Tanner & Morgan after Tanner was home from the kasai. We would lay them side by side, but they'd always end up nose to nose. August 2004



Fighting over a toy on the floor - April 1, 2005



Hugs...September 2005



A DOUBLE Time Out - December 2005



Because it isn't all fun & games - January 2006



Morgan pinning a kiss on Tanner - Winter 2005/2006



Sharing books...March 2006

We're Pregnant!?!?

I've been wanting to write this down for a long time, and since the kids are finally two years old, I think it's imperative I do it soon before I forget.

My husband and I had talked about kids since we were married in October 2000. Our goal was to wait until we had both attained our professional engineering license to get pregnant and have kids. Randy struggled to get his surveying license, and his quest for the PE was delayed. However, I tested for mine, as scheduled, in late October 2003.

Once the test was over, we decided to start trying. After all, at our age, it would most likely take at least 6 months to get pregnant. No stress, no hurry - we were still young.

In the middle of November, my friend Angie called and asked if I wanted to go have a beer after work. I thought yes, but what if I was just barely pregnant. That would be horrible. So, I decided to take a pregnancy test...it came back with a very faint second line. I hadn't missed my period yet - I must be illisuing things. But, I didn't have a beer.

The next morning, I took another pregnancy test...just to see if the previous night was a fluke. Well, this time the second line was there, but it was even lighter than the night before. Surely a fluke, but a part of me just kept saying...hmmm....

So, the next morning (a Thursday), I took yet another pregnancy test. However, this time I had gone to the drug store and picked up a digital pregnancy test that would say "yes" or "no" versus trying to figure out whether the second line really counted or not. At around 5:00 a.m. that morning, I took the test...and viola, within 2 minutes, it said "yes".

I promptly ran into the bedroom where my husband quietly slept and pounced on him - we're pregnant. I don't think he believed the results, either. As he pointed out, "you promised me we'd have to try for at least 6 months..."

Poor guy....

Observant

First, one thing you must understand is that my kid's ADORE Baby Einstein. The first question out of their mouth in the mornings is "Einstein?", and they ask throughout the day. I'm hoping that all changse when we get them out of the house into a daycare.

The other day, Morgan brought me a Goofy book, she said "Einstein?"

"No, honey, that isn't Einstien."

"Einstien!"

"No, that is Goofy, not Einstein."

Then she very carefully took the book from my hands, and pointed to the corner where there was a little Disney insignia (about 1/2" wide) and said "Einstein!".

Then it donned on me, Baby Einstein is made by Disney, and each time we start the DVD, she sees the Disney logo.

Smart kid.

Where do they come up with this stuff?

This week, Morgan has been coming up and asking for Money. Strange from a kid who's parents almost exclusively use plastic.

A Letter to My Two Year Olds

Dear Tanner & Morgan,

Yesterday you both turned two years old. It is so hard to believe that in the blink of an eye - you're no longer my babies. You are very independent little people - who have their own likes and dislikes, and their own way of doing things.

I look back to where we started this process two years ago, and I find it nearly impossible to believe how tiny you were...how very fragile. I remember the nurses telling us how even touching you would hurt you - and now we rough house with you on the living room floor, tickling you until you cry out "all done".

This past year you have changed so much. A year ago, you had just started crawling, Morgan, and Tanner you were still stationary - content to let Morgan barrel around you. Today, you are both running...nonstop. Climbing the stairs, jumping on the sofa - all of the things that two year olds are supposed to do.

Morgan, you are still my indepedent child. You will sit and work on something for long stretches of time until you figure it out. When you are in your concentration mode, you stick your little tongue out to the side - just like mommy does when she's concentrating. It makes me laugh that you would pick up such a small trait that is so distinctly me. Your little wheels turn every minute of the day - and we find it very humurous when you use your wit. You know that you are not allowed to take a toy out of your brother's hand, so when he has something you want, you start to point at things and say "look!" until you find something he wants. And, when he puts down the toy you wanted - you run and snatch it up before he changes his mind. You are a very determined little girl.

Tanner, you are the sweetest little boy that could have been placed on this earth. You do not like to see anyone in distress, and when someone is hurt, you try to find a way to comfort them. Sometimes this comes in the form of a giant Tanner hug - a hug where you run, throw yourself in the person's arms, plant your head on their shoulder, wrap your arms around their neck and squeeze. It's hard to believe that such a comforting hug comes from such a small little guy. And, when your sister is concerned, you always try to find a way to comfort her. You will often bring her Prayer Bear when she is distressed - anything to make her feel better. Your tenderness amazes me.

I love to watch the two of you interact - it's one of those unique things that twin parents get to enjoy. I've seen everything from full blown punches, kicks, and bites -to unprovoked kisses and hugs. You reserve a love for your twin that many of us will never know. Tanner, even though Morgan may not show it, whenever you are out of her sight, she calls out for you "Tanner, Tanner" until she sees you again. Morgan, your brother shows his love each and every day...whether through a hug or bringing you your beloved Prayer Bear, he is always trying to make you feel better. I hope that this love continues to grow, and you will continue to protect each other - especially when Mommy & Daddy cannot.

It has been a fun year to watch you grow and learn. To watch you master the milestones that we one time wondered if you would make. To think about the future and what our little people will end up doing. I look forward to the next year - listening to your speech grow, watching you build your confidence, and letting you start to stretch your wings.

Just promise...don't grow up too quickly on me...

Love,
Mommy


Tanner at birth, 2 lb 3.1 oz....



Tanner at 1 year old.....



Tanner now...



Morgan then at 2 lb 3.3 oz....



Morgan at 1 year old....



Morgan now....

My rant & rage

Well, the twins birthday has come and gone....I can't believe that my babies are 2 years old already. Or, how far they've really come. Born at a whopping 2 lb 3 oz, they are about 23.5 pounds now (Morgan weighs 1/2 pound more than Tanner). At birth, 13" - now they are about 33". So BIG.

I promise to post a happy post about the birthday soon, but right now I'm dwelling on the not good. What really sucks and makes me the most mad this weekend....it all goes back to my mom & dad's car accident from shortly after the kid's birth. My mom is a T3 (I think) parapalegic from that accident - she basically can't feel anything from the breast bone down. Now, thank goodness she has movement in her arms and stuff, but that's about it. So, this means that she doesn't know when she needs to urinate - so she has a catheter to take care of the urine. This works fine - most of the time. But, yesterday her leg bag (for the catheter) got too full and the leaked. So, she had to go home much earlier than we had originally planned so that she could change clothes and so much.

It makse me really sad that mom couldn't spend the day with us. We don't get to see her that often, and when we do, it's still not the same. Instead of going out and doing things - we hang around the house. It's all fine - it's just not the SAME. I miss going shopping with my mom - going out and doing fun things. I hate the fact that my kids won't get to know that grandma - the one who would have come down and taken them off our hands for a few hours here and there.

And, when I start thinking like that, it makes me very angry. I don't think there was any justice in the way that the kid was treated after the accident. He completely changed my mom & dad's life - and he never spent a day in prison. I know it was an accident, but the accident could have been avoided if he hadn't been out drinking the night before, he wasn't still hung over, and he had gotten any sleep. And, why can't he at least apologize. He didn't just completely put mom & dad's life in upheaval - but he screwed with all of our lifes as well. I hope he thinks about it everyday - I hope when he sees his mom playing with his kids - that he realizes my mom doesn't get to play with my kids. I hope there is a special kind of punishment for him somewhere down the line...


I am GRATEFUL that my mom still has the use of her arms. She is so incredibly talented, and at least she still has this creative outlet. Since we needed an egg free birthday cake, Grandma made it. And, since our current favorite thing as a 2 year old is Elmo...this was the end result.





Now, since the head and fish are 100% sugar, we decided not to let the kids eat it. But, I couldn't bring myself to throw it away after all that hard work. So, we now have a decapitated Elmo & a fish residing in our freezer.

Thanks, Grandma. We love you.

Things to Remember Part II

As I walk in the door, I hear our nanny, Ashley, say "Who's home?"

Then I hear pitter-patter, pitter-patter, the pace quickens...pitter-patter, pitter-patter...a little face peeking around the corner and squeaking "mom-ma" as he hurls himself into my arms.

Then, those same little arms circling me and grabbing on tight - a little head planted in the crook of my neck. A soft coo...


I don't want to forget my little boy, the excitement he has when mommy & daddy come home, his unconditional love - or those big, big hugs from my little guy.

Things we say

I didn't realize that I was so predictable.

This morning when I walked into the twins' bedroom, Morgan looked up at me and said "turn!".

It took me a second to realize that for the last 2 months, every morning when I go into get them I say "okay, who's turn is it to go first?". I usually alternate between the kids - or some days just pick the child I heard first or who is clamoring for the most attention.

But, today, Morgan with her "turn" trumped Tanner and she got to go first (even if I didn't ask).

Our Second Worthy Cause

Every day 1 in 8 babies born in the U.S. arrives too soon. Premature birth can happen to any pregnant woman, and no one knows why. It is a serious, common and costly problem. The March of Dimes is leading the campaign to reduce premature birth by supporting research and by educating the public and health care providers.

In a little more than 2 weeks, Randy & I will be putting on our walking shoes, and walking in the March of Dimes walk here in Kansas City. I find it especially appropriate since Tanner & Morgan will be celebrating their 2nd birthday one week prior to this walk. Tanner & Morgan will be joining us in their double jogging stroller.

As most of you know, Tanner & Morgan were born 13 weeks too soon. At only 27 weeks gestation, they weighed in at 2 lb 3.1 oz & 2 lb 3.3 oz. Tanner was 13.25" long & Morgan was 12.5" long. So very, very tiny.

We've recently decided that this is an organization we want to actively support. Without March of Dimes, I may not have received some steroid shots the week before the kids were born. These steroid shots were given to me as a preventative measure "just in case" I went into labor. The steroid shots help develop the lungs of the baby while in utero. Due to these shots, neither or our kids ended up being on the ventilator.

Here's a link to our walksite...there is a picture of Randy holding Tanner & Morgan when they are three weeks old. I'll be adding a picture on this website soon that shows both kids with two dolls that were made to look & feel like they did at birth (size wise).

Please wish us well...taking care of our health has not been a top priority these last two years.




Mommy with her babies - May 19, 2004 - about 20 days old

Daddy Love You

Whenever I rock my kids (which isn't that often anymore), I have a little made-up song that I sing to them. It goes something like this.

Morgan, Mommy loves you
Morgan, Daddy loves you
Morgan, We both love you
Morgan, You are Loved

Tonight, after I sang it to her, she sang it back to me, but it sounded something like this.

Daddy love you
Daddy love you
Daddy love you
You are loved.





PS...It would be even more heart wrenching if the girl would start calling me mommy and quit calling me daddy.

The End of an Era (I think)

Tonight was the last bottle of milk that my twins will receive at nighttime.

I was going to take away this part of the night time ritual right after their first birthday. When I mentioned it to my mother (who rarely comments on our parenting methods), she full out let me have it. "They were just babies - how could I take their nighttime bottle away!?!?" So, they kept their bottle.

Now, almost a year later, everyone is shocked that we still give them a bedtime bottle. What can I say...it was an easy routine. Every night, we'd eat supper, bathe them (on Sundays, Wednesday, & Fridays), put on Pajamas, play and read books, and then it was bedtime. For almost the last year (since they've been holding their own bottles), Daddy would lave them on a pillow and then lay in between them while they drank their bottle. After they finished off their bottles, they'd drift to sleep - it was an easy routine.

But, two weeks ago, it became apparent that Morgan didn't need her bottle. She'd drink a bit of it - and then start playing with it. Biting on the nipple to keep milk from leaking - or freely letting it dribble down her chin. Then, one night I went to take the bottle from her, and 1/2 the nipple had been bitten off.

We waited until this weekend because daddy had his PE test today...we anticipate a few long nights while they adjust to not having a bottle. And, we'd prefer those sleepless nights happen after that test.

I know Daddy will miss the tiem he gets to spend with his babies - that was his time to lay with them, let them touch his face or hold his hand while they drank their bottles. After bottles, they'd snuggle up with him...sometimes by his side, sometimes on top of his chest.

Goodbye, Bottles.

So much fun...

I love this picture of Tanner & Morgan. Running through the rock - we waited so long for Tanner to run through the rocks and the fact that they are playing like this together just warms my heart.

Profile of a Toddler

Body Parts that a 2 year old should know

Hands --------- check
Arms ---------- check
Nose ---------- check
Ears ---------- check
Eyes ---------- check
Mouth --------- check
Hair ---------- check
Teeth---------- check
Belly Button -- check
Liver --------- check

What....your two year old doesn't know where their liver is?!?!?

Creatures of Habit

Last night around 10 p.m., Tanner awoke from his sleep crying out. Oftentimes when he does this, it's because he's hungry. I figured this was the case since we had been cutting down their nighttime bottle.

I went in and got him so he wouldn't wake Morgan...as soon as I picked him up, his head landed on my shoulder and he snuggled in. It was obvious he didn't want milk - just a little love.

So, I rocked him and sang to him - gently rubbing his back. For the first time in months, I got to hold my sleeping baby...peaceful and beautiful.

Finally around 10:30, I put him back down in his bed. I didn't realize how much of a habbit our tuck-in routine is until I put him in bed - and half asleep, he still followed our normal routine.

As soon as he hit the mattress, he flipped over on his tummy, pulled his feet under his bottom, and then lifted his left arm so that I could stick nestle his babydoll in under his arm, and then tuck him in.

9-1-1

We called 9-1-1 today in our home for the first time for a "true emergency".

We were eating lunch today - a very healthy Easter Feast including Peas & Carrots, leftover pizza, cheetos, and the candy-coated Kisses (yummy & nutritious, huh?). I went to give Morgan her medicine, and when it went down, something went wrong.

I'm not sure if it took something with it - or if it went down the wrong pipe. But, she started choking, coughing, sputtering...and this continued, and her eyes watered, and she turned blue. She gagged, she threw up, and was even bluer.

She then passed out....

That was when I yelled to Randy to call 9-1-1. I snapped her out of the high chair, wiped her face, pounded on her back, and she started to gradually wake up. Still coughing and with some crackling in her lungs.

A few minutes later we had a sheriff here (he was only a few blocks away) - followed by the DeSoto Volunteer Squad, the Johnson County rescue fire department, the EMT, and another sheriff. The neighbors have got to wonder what happened.

Because I believe the Cheetos were to blame, they are currently banned from my house.

Proof That She's My Daughter

After leaving church this morning, I told Morgan we were going shopping.

She looked up at me and said "Target?"

Things to Remember Part I

1. We've recently started watching Sesame Street in the morning. Now, whenever Morgan wants to see Sesame Street, she comes to us, begging, saying "Street", "Street". She hasn't picked up the Sesame part.

2. We bought a used Castle today for $20. Such a bargain when they are $350 new (it did cost another $26 to rent a Home Depot truck so that we could actually get it home). The kids LOVE it, especially Tanner. After unloading it, we let the kids play in it for about 5 - 10 minutes before we returned the rented truck to Home Depot. I actually had to crawl into the Castle to drag Tanner out of it (kicking & screaming).



3. Proof that she can show affection....while in Target last night, Tanner briefly disappeared out of Morgan's sight. Whenever he does this, and we are out in public, all you hear is her little voice going "Tan-ner", "Tan-ner".

My son, the model

Randy & I have gradually become aware of the fact that there are three "causes" that we would like to support...by participating, spreading the good word, and doing whatever we can to help out.

One of those "causes" is the American Liver Foundation. Why? Biliary Atresia is a deadly disease. There are about 250 babies born each year with this disorder (1 in 16,000 or so). They do not know the cause of biliary atresia, yet it is the leading cause of liver transplant in children. And, while yes, Tanner no longer has BA because of his transplant, we've really traded one set of problems for another. But, there is no known cause...and until they know WHY something happens, they can't very well figure out a way to make it STOP happening. That's what we want - a cure for this disease.

So, last night, Tanner participated in the ALF's 4th Annual Fashion Show here in Kansas City. What a big day for a little guy. Randy escorted him in the show, and looked quite dapper in his out plaid shirt, light pants, and spring green jacket. But, Tanner stole the show.

Randy carried Tanner down the stairs...and when they got to the runway, he put Tanner down. I was a bit nervous, figuring Tanner would immeidately turn to Randy and want "uuu-P", but he didn't. Instead, he walked holding daddy's finger down the runway. At the end of the runway, he waved to the crowd, and when the announcer said "and Tanner received a liver transplant in 2005" - well, the whole crowd gasped. He's just a little guy - who would have guessed?

But, the show stealer happened as Tanner was getting to depart the stage...just before he was to be picked up again, he turned back to the crowd, and blew them all a big kiss. Of course, there was a collective "ahhhh" in the crowd. And, the rest of the night, wherever we went, we heard "there's the little boy who blew the kiss".

I have to admit a few tears while I watched him up there...partially because of the liver transplant, and partially because he's growing up so darn fast.

A New Start

Off to a new start....

I've been thinking a lot lately, I've kept up with our personal life as well as Tanner's medical story on his CaringBridge Site. And, that's fine - that is what it was for when he was sick.

But really, Tanner's pretty good these days. He takes his Prograf in the morning & at night - he has a little silver scar that runs across his belly, and a little silver "H" over his heart. But, otherwise he looks healthy...

A site devoted to Tanner, isn't necessarily fair anymore. I want something to include Morgan...to tell her stories, tributes, and triumphs. To proudly display her picture, as well as Tanner's.

So, I'm going to use this site to catch those moments with my kids - record them - remember them. So that when they get old & gray - hopefully they will have something that they can refer back to (because Lord knows with my memory, I won't be able to remember it.)