Walking for a cause

This weekend, the family & I participated in the 1st Walkapooloza here in Kansas City for the American Liver Foundation. We (as a family) were also intereviewed by the local news station & Randy's mother (Tanner's living liver donor) was interviewed by the local talk radio station.

During my short 30 seconds of fame, the message that I wanted to get across to people is that liver disease isn't reserved for people who have drank or done drugs to abuse their body for a lifetime. Liver disease affects people who have lived a healthy life...and it affects innocent children.

This weekend, our team, Liver Families & Friends, walked for the children who are affected by liver disease. These are the faces of liver disease:



Our son, Tanner - Biliary Atresia, Transplanted 02/2005




Janna - Biliary Atresia, Transplant 08/2005



Alexander - Alpha One, Pre-Transplant




Tyler - Biliary Atresia, Transplant 06/2000



Ali - Alpha One, Transplant 04/1992 (Sorry Ali & Michelle, I realized when I got home that I hadn't gotten a new picture of Ali!)

None of these kids did anything to deserve the sentence they were given - and yet each of them is such a great example of how to take your licks and keep on going. I, for one, felt honored to walk for them.


It was a beautiful, sunshiny, great weather day. Our group totaled 19 people - and we weren't the largest group (I don't think the ALF counted children under age 15 - we had 6 of those). This was the first walk, so there were a few organizational things that were lacking (like a loudspeaker for opening ceremonies) and it was a smaller group than I would have thought.

Here is Ellen Shank, the lady who interviewed Grandma on Wednesday and kicked off the walk on Saturday:



The walk was along the rivers of Brush Creek, better known as Flush Creek here in KC. Pretty, yes. But, when we get a lot of rain, the sewers overflow into the creek, and it ends up being a stinky mess. That combined with the geese droppings everywhere, and well, it really probably wasn't the most sanitary of places for liver transplant patients. But, pretty, yes, it was pretty!



Along the route, they had up different liver disease facts. Some of them hit a little too close to home:



At the finish line, they had pizza & pop ready to go, a great little band from St. Louis, a quiz on the liver disease facts, and a bounce house for the kids. It was really a good time. Here's a picture of part of our group eating pizza & listening to the band (minus about 6 of our walkers).



We knew it was time to go home, when we found this in our stroller.



Special thanks to everyone who walked with our group. Tammy & Janna drove all the way up from Wichita to walk with us. My friends, Bob & Lori brought their kids, Andy & Zoey and walked with us as well. And, our neighbors Sandy & Sidney joined us, too. It means so much to Randy & I that our friends took the time out of their busy schedules to come support our cause. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Cracked my heart

Tanner's transition to his big boy bed has gone fairly well. He stays in bed until we go down to get him up (thank you, daycare!). However, he does have a bit more freedom in this bed.

Case in point...last night. I kept hearing a "thud thud thud". At first, I thought it was one of our younger neighbors driving by with their bass a little too loud. Then, I noticed it happening at frequent intervals. I finally figured out, that this was actually Tanner laying on his bed and KICKING the adjoining wall.

Trip 1. "No Tanner, we don't do that".

Trip 2. "Tanner, what did mommy say - quit kicking the wall"

Trip 3. "Tanner, it's time to go to bed, please do not kick the wall"

Trip 4. "Tanner, mommy asked you not to kick the wall. If you kick the wall again, mommy will have to spank you."

Trip 5. "Tanner, mommy told you not to kick the wall". Spanking.

Tanner erupted into a puddle of tears and sobbed. This continued for about 10 minutes until he finally fell asleep around 9 p.m. (two hours after his bedtime).

About 2 a.m., Tanner woke up sobbing again. I went downstairs, and he got out of bed and wrapped his arms around my neck and sobbed, "I'm sorry, mommy".

Cracked my heart...

I'm sorry, too, Tanner.

Africa & Australia

A while ago, I posted here that we were considering splitting the kids into separate bedrooms. Well, we didn't end up doing it, although there are still some days that I think we should.

But, now, we are making the jump and splitting them up...in daycare. Our kids attend a Montessori-type daycare. Now, I'm not an education person, and we primarily chose our daycare on which one had the best vibe while we were there (oh, yes, and that was clean, would work with us on Tanner's medical stuff, and had a great local reputation). The one interesting thing about this daycare is that they blend ages. They have two classrooms for the little kids (age 12 mos - 2.5 years) and four classrooms for the big kids (age 2.5 years - 5 years). Most schools only have one room for each age group - and the kids would have had to have been together. This gives us the unique opportunity to split them before we hit kindergarten.

I always believed I'd be one of those twin parents who would keep their twins together - and go to the school board to fight if they wouldn't let me. I thought it would be better for Tanner's medical condition, but now that he's normal, well that shot that argument all to hell.

Since Morgan has become much better at speaking, she spends a majority of her time telling Tanner what to do "Tanner eat your food", "Tanner no-no", "Tanner don't say that", "Tanner....". You get the picture. And, Tanner, well, his favorite words right now are "NO!". He really seems to resent the constant direction, and I pointed out to Randy that he may never get married as he's been nagged his whole childhood.

We've struggled with this decision, but a a few weeks ago Tanner had the opportunity to spend the whole day at school by himself. The teachers said he was a whole different kid - talking up a storm (he receives speech therapy, so this was a shocker), playing, laughing, dancing. And, Morgan, well, when Tanner isn't around, she desperately misses him ("where's Tanner", "Tanner, where are you?", "what's Tanner doing?"), but she also needs to learn that she can't boss him around all the time.

So, in the next week and a half when the kids are moved up to their new classrooms, Tanner will be moved into Australia (the classrooms are named after the continents) and Morgan will be moved into Africa. The rooms are adjacent to each other, and the kids will be able to see each other during recess (which is three times a day). It'll be intersting to see how they change.

All Grown Up

Tonight, Tanner is sleeping in his Big Boy bed for the first time (he's done naps previously, but not an all night stent). We'll see how long it lasts.

Morgan - she prefers her crib. When we offered up her big girl bed, she said "No, Morgan sleep in crib". So, she's in the crib surrounded by her stuffed animals.

I know you aren't supposed to compare kids, but it's so difficult when you have twins who are the same age, and experiencing the same stuff at the same time. It amazes me that Tanner loves his big boy bed, while Morgan is terrified of it and wants nothing to do with it. Yet, Morgan is starting to show some interest in potty training, and that isn't registering with Tanner yet.

So, we will see if it lasts all night. This means that we'll have to be extra vigilant to wake to a crying child, and to go to their room at the first sign of mayhem. Darn, and I was just getting used to my sleep.

How can it be that my little guy is already this grown up?

Vacation Wrap-Up

Thursday afternoon, we drove out to Faust Park after a relatively long nap by the kids. Because they had napped longer than we had originally attended, we ended up getting caught in a bit of traffic jam, and did not make it to Faust Park until about 4:15 p.m. The Carousel closed at 4 p.m., so we didn't make it this time. But, it is one attraction that is inside and will be open when we come back in February. We'll try it then.

The kids didn't seem to mind at all, as there is a huge beautiful playground here, too. They just couldn't get enough of the playgrounds.

They slid:



And slid some more (notice the nice static effect on Tanner's hair here):



Climbed a rock wall:



And just ran around on the cool playground mat:



They were worn out from all the playing, and got to bed at a much more normal hour than they had been this week.

Good thing, because we started out early this morning at the zoo again. Morgan's favorite thing at the zoo is the "Tiger". So, of course, she had to ride the tiger (again) on the carousel. Can you see the pure joy in her face?



Then, deciding not to fight it anymore, we took them back to the zoo playground so that they could (what else?) slide some more. This time, they also played around on the hippo in the playground. Here is Tanner imitating the hippo, while on the hippo:



Now, the hot thing at the St. Louis Zoo right now is the baby elephant. Everyone was talking about it, so we decided we'd feel a bit foolish if we didn't take time to catch a peek. We headed in that direction around 9:45 - we were astonished to see that there was a sign about 1000 ft from the baby elephant that said "the line starts here". Thankfully, there was no line today, and we were able to see this magnificent little guy.



Tanner has loved the elephants when we've seen them, so it was no suprise that when we headed off to Build a Bear to make our souverneir, that he quickly grabbed on to the elephant. And Morgan, well, she chose a tiger of course!

Here is Tanner giving his Elephant it's heart:



And, it's test hug:



We named the elephant Ross, after Dr. Shepherd who is Tanner's main GI in St. Louis. And, appropriately, the elephant got a pair of scrubs to wear home.

Now, I don't have pictures of Morgan at Build a Bear, because about the time that Tanner was giving his elephant a hug, some lady with a double stroller ran over Morgan (literally). Morgan ended up with a small cut at the outside of her eye, and we couldn't get her calmed down enough to enjoy the Build a Bear experience. Daddy and Tanner filled her tiger, and Tanner even put two hearts in it for her.

After all that, we headed home...it's been a long vacation.

Grant's Farm

This morning we visited Grant's Farm. I would highly rate this as one of the best attractions yet. The zoo is great, but this was just a wonderful experience. It's mostly backed by Anheuser-Busch, and they have really made that place beautiful and convenient.

The day starts with a Tram ride through their wildlife preserve area. It has lots of different deer, zebras, buffalo, Canadian geese, Texas Longhorn steer, elk, turkeys, and lots of other animals. Tanner ate this up:




Along the way, we also passed by Ulysses S. Grant's original homested which is also in the park. It's only open to tours a few times a year - and this wasn't one of those times.

Morgan was even a show-stopper while on the Tram...she dropped her sippy cup off the tram, and they had to stop it to pick it back up.

Once inside the actual farm, there are all kinds of animals that you can see. Birds, kangaroo, tortoises, and baby goats that you can feed. We grabbed a few bottles of milk, and let the kids feed the goats. They didn't quite know what to think.



We saw the elephants perform, and then had a unique chance to feed their three camels which are known as The Three Amigos. Morgan absolutely loved doing this (go figure that feeding the goats scared her, and she loved feeding the camel who could literally have bitten her fingers off).



We finshed the morning by touring the Bauernof (German for barn). It was built in 1913, and surrrounds a courtyard where you can feast on brats and (free) beer. Ironically, we forgot to get beer.




It's where a few of their horses are kept, along with some of the Budweiser show wagons, harnesses, and awards that the Busch families have won over the years. It was absolutely gorgeous and really neat to see.

We then hopped back on the tram, and headed back to the main entrance. Near the main entrance is the Clydesdale Stables. We had a family photo taken with one of the horses (sorry, we haven't scanned it yet), and then did a tour of the stables and farmyard. The Clydesdale, also known as the Gentle Beasts, are huge, but so friendly. They were absolutely gorgeous animals.

This time, Morgan was afriad, but Tanner wanted to pet the horses. He was so funny pointing at all of the horses and yelling "horsey!".




Needless to say, all of that excitement has left us with two exhausted kids. They are napping now. We've switched up our plans a bit, and we'll be heading out to Faust Park this morning. We're going to let them run on the largest playground in St. Louis County, and hopefully ride the carousel as well.

Tomorrow, we'll visit the zoo, including the carousel and playground there, do Build a Bear, and head home. Hopefully we'll be home by late evening and we can all enjoy a good night's sleep. As much fun as we're having, I think we're all looking forward to getting back home.

New Theme: How Many Parks Can We Visit in 5 days?

The kids took a late and long nap on Tuesday afternoon. So, we decided to do something prior to supper, and stopping at a park seemed like a great idea. We went to the Turtle Park, which is part of the Forrest Park. The kids had so much fun, climbing on the turtles:



And, they had even more fun throwing rocks at each other in the "Turtle Nest" complete with Turtle Eggs (some even hatching).



Unfortunately, we were out late, and the kids got to be later than normal. Which meant that we had crabby babies for Tanner's doctor's appointment. Tanner's Prograf was redrawn (despite the very low level, his liver was still very happy) and we'll wait to see how the level was.

The summary of the doctor's appointment - "NORMAL". Dr. Shepherd mentioned several times that Tanner was "normal" now, we should expect him to lead a "normal" life, and that the odds of him experiencing a major rejection or bile duct issue had subsided. They were pleased that he had not yet contracted EBV. They told us that he will probably develop it at some time, but the further out from transplant and the lower his suppression level, the less dangerous it will be for him (EBV is a virus that can lead to PTLD - a cancer in post-transplant kids). It's truly amazing to hear a doctor who has seen lots of very sick kids lament on how far Tanner has come...he remembers that little 10-pound boy with a big belly and stick arms, blue eyes in a sea of yellow. And, today, he got to listen to a 2.5 year old shreiking, climbing, and acting like a typical boy. We'll go back in February for Tanner's 2nd transplant anniversary and some more extensive studies - including a kidney study.

This afternoon, we went to the Magic House. It was a pretty good time for the kids, but the place was aimed for a little bit older kids. They did have a toddler area that the enjoyed. It included playing in the sand:



And, their favorite, playing in the water:




Afterwards, we found yet another park. In the grand scheme of things, it's amazing that seemingly their favorite thing to do is the least expensive. They absolutely love the playgrounds. We've hit the Columbia Cosmopolitan park, the Forrest Park Playground, Turtle Playground, and now the Kirkwood Park. No plans for a park tomorrow (although Grant's Farm may have one), but we are planning on hitting Faust Park on Friday.

Here they are riding the little springy animals:





And, sliding...Every time that Morgan would get off the slide, she'd hold up her pointer finger and say "I'll be right back". And, she'd go down the slide again. Repeat about 10x.



Tanner just liked marching around on the playground equipment. This one had several different platforms connected by bridges, arches, and tunnels. He would march back and forth....to and fro...he is our little explorer.



Tomorrow we're headed to Grant's Farm (where the Budweiser Clydesdale's reside) and back to the zoo (or another park) in the afternoon. Friday morning we'll go back to the zoo and ride the carousel, make a bear at Build a Bear, and head to Faust Park (for another carousel ride). Hopefully by then, the kids will be worn out and we'll have a peaceful drive home.

Until then, enjoy the pictures!

Lions and Tigers and Bears - OH MY!

Today was our first day at the zoo. We got a slighter later start than we had first anticipated, but we were at the zoo around 9:20.

The St. Louis Zoo is amazing - and most of it's attractions are FREE. Yep, you read it folks, free. You pay for parking, but there is even free parking if you are willing to walk through the park aways. And, for two of the paying attractions, they offer free times - the first hour that the park is open each morning.

So, we started our day at the Carousel. Morgan absolutely loved riding it, and insisted on riding the Tiger first, followed by the Lion. We had to physically remove them from the animals at the end of each ride. We'll probably try to hit it again tomorrow between labwork and our follow-up appointment.



Then, we went and saw the bears, penguins, apes, orangatangs, zebras, camels, giraffes, swamp land, gazelles, and "big cats" including Morgan's beloved tiger.



In the middle of the Children's Museum is a playground that the kids loved. It had a chute slide made of plexiglass - as you are going down the slide, you can actually see the Beaver and other animals playing in the water next to you. The kids LOVED it. Here is a fun picture of Tanner that Randy caught.



We ended the day at the Ape House, where I caught a picture of these monkeys:



The kids are now napping. We joined the zoo just for this trip - it gives us free parking, as well as free access to the railroad and children's zoo (two of the few that charge admission). So, we'll head back there later this week.

Part of our package here at the Embassy Suites was a "Buid a Bear Package" that included a sleeping bag, toothpaste, toothbrush, floss, and a t-shirt for your "bear" along with a $5 gift certificate. We found a special Build a Bear inside the Zoo, so we'll be doing that as a souvenir of our trip.

Tonight, we'll head about for a quick meal. Dining at a fine dining establishment isn't what I'd call relaxing - so we may grab some fast food, find a restaraunt, and have a picnic for supper.

Planes, Trains, Car Seats, and Playgrounds

Today was Day #1 of our vacation - which primarily meant that it was spent actually getting to our vacation location. This was a "short trip", a mere 275 miles from our home. However, when you have two, two-year-olds, that means its about 6 hours from home. Thankfully, the kids were mostly cooperative today.

Randy & I loaded the van last night, so we were pretty well ready to go this morning. After getting up, we ate breakfast, got ready, locked the house down, and then left around 9 o'clock this morning. We pulled in our hotel in St. Louis at 3 p.m.

Tanner and Morgan were occupied by Baby Einstein during most of the first 1/2 of our trip. We stopped in Columbia, MO, and ate lunch at McDonalds. We found a lovely grandmother who was local, and she filled us in on a park called Cosmopolitan Park. So, after a leisurely lunch of Apple Dippers, Cheeseburgers, and French Fries, we set out in search of this park.

We were amazed at the size of this park, and the kids had so much fun. There was a long tunnel they could tromp through (Tanner's personal favorite), little spring animals to ride...



slides to slide down....




hills to climb....(see those yellow and orange tube slides down the hill...there was a similar one on the hill that Randy, Tanner, & Morgan are climbing - it was the kids favorite slide at all and about a 15' drop)



playstructure bridges to run along...




We were probably only there for about 30 minutes, but when most of the time they are going in opposite directions (like here)....it wore mommy & daddy out.




The remainder of the trip wasn't too bad, but wasn't quite as enjoyable as the first. We spent the last hour of our trip looking for airplanes, trains, and anything else that would capture the kid's attention and keep them for howling for any length of time.

And, after we were settled into our hotel room, we headed out for supper, and spent another 30 minutes swinging and sliding at the Forest Park playground. Pictures from that later on.

Tomorrow is the zoo (assuming that the rain stays away) - or Magic House. Even with grumpy kids who melted down (only about 20 minutes of naps today!) at dinner, overall it was a good day, and we are looking forward to seeing the kid's reactions as they are introduced to the zoo tomorrow.

A Much Anticipated Vacation

Two more days of work...I am SOOOOO ready for vacation, it's not even funny.

We are headed to beautiful St. Louis for a liver check-up for Tanner and to see all the fun sites that St. Louis has to offer. We'll be hanging out with all the monkeys at the zoo, chasing around the big animals at Grant's Farm, and trying to make something magical happen all while trying to rationalize with two two-year-olds.

Wait a second, this is sounding more & more like a day at the office...

A Random Post about our Growing Toddlers

It's started...the questions.

Two weeks ago on our way home from Iowa, Morgan turned to my husband and asked, "Daddy, what happened to Baby Einstein?"

It's been so interesting watching Morgan's speech patterns emerge over the last month. She's gone from putting together two words here and there, to telling us complete sentences, and using words we didn't even realize that she had.

She now questions us - pauses in her conversation where she is expecting a response from us - and tells us long stories. She knows very specifically want she wants, and she beginning to use words like "need" and "want".

She's beginning to use logic and reason things. This weekend when something wasn't working, she took it to Randy and told him "Daddy, battries please". Every day, we have to tell her who will drop her off at school and which vehicle they will be driving and who will pick her up. She'll try to negotiate, "mommy drive black car", when she knows that daddy always drives the black car. It's really fun to watch this pattern emerge.

Tanner is getting there - his speech is most definitely delayed, and we are workign with a speech therapist. His understanding is there, and he's starting to put words together. I think he's realistically about 2- 3 months behind Morgan.

In about 2.5 weeks, Tanner & Morgan will begin their transition to the "big kids" room. Our Montessori based preschool has 3 ages groups - infant (6 wks - 12 months), Toddler (walking - 2.5 years), and Preschool (2.5 years - 5 years). I'm excited for the transition because I think the kids need the stimulation developmentally - and I think being around the older kids will give them good speech patterns to imitate and mimick.

I know that Morgan will take to it just fine. She loves playing with older kids - and just wants to be one of them. Tanner, I'm more worried about. Physically he's further behind than Morgan. And, at only about 24 pounds a piece, they are definitely on the small side. Imagine those same 24-pounders playing with 4 - 5 year olds...

Now, our real dilmea is whether or not to separate the kids. Do we put them in separate classrooms? It would really benefit Tanner more than Morgan - he'd be free of Morgan who has been bossing him around. He'd have to speak for himself. And, when he isn't around her (Friday), I'm told that he totally came out of his shell and blossomed. I want them to be close and best friends, but I really want them to be independent, too.

One is SOOOO Easy

Friday, Morgan got another set of ear tubes in. At 7 a.m., we loaded up Tanner and dropped him off at the daycare, and then proceeded to the outpatient surgical center.

Morgan did very well through the whole thing (besides a slight bout of screaming when she first spotted the ENT - she's terrified of him). She colored in the waiting room, proudly announcing each color as we'd swap them out. When we went back to the pre-op room, she clung to my neck, but was cute reading for the nurses. And, in recovery, she was snuggled to the nurse when we came back there. Again, she behaved like an angel the entire time.

We came home afterwards, and Morgan got to spend the day with mommy. She hung out on the sofa, ate crackers and cookies, and drank some 7Up. She then took a 4 hour nap (anesthesia is marvelous - we're looking for some during our next extended car ride).

And, she did all of this without fussing, whining, or putting up any kind of a struggle. No fights over the yellow marker at the doctor's office, which coloring book each child go to use, no asking one to stop doing something only to have the other one start the behaviour. About 1 o'clock in the afternoon, it hit me - this is what it's like to have singletons.

Wow...I know that this was only one day, but wow. It was so easy. I was able to do laundry, cook supper, clean some house, go shopping, and work - all that with one child. With two children, you are constantly refereeing, entertaining, feeding, and changing diapers. It's much more than twice the effort - as you are also stopping all the behavior that occurs because of the fact that they feed off of each other.

Now, I understand while people have multiple pregnancies...they're lured into the thought that "hey, this isn't so bad".

SUCKERS.

The House of No

No!

That seems to be the word I hear most frequently these days. Well, actually, it's been happening for several months now.

About two months ago, Morgan started saying "no" to everything.

Do you want to go outside?
No.

Do you want to stay inside?
No.

Do you want ice cream?
No.

Really? Hmmm...mommy will take it.


Then after a few weeks, she learned the word....YYYYYeeeeeessss. And, instead of hearing "No!" all the time, we'd usually hear "YYYYYeeeeeessss". Even though it wasn't necessarily what she meant, it was infinitely better than "No!".

And, then she started, to get it...

Do you want a spanking?
YYYYYe...NO!

Do you want ice cream?
N...YYYYeeeeesss.

But, after a few months, she's got that down pat. Now, it's the boy. And it's aggravated by the fact that his "NO!" are usually directed to his sister, who has started bossing him around. Which, she then responds to.

Tanner, no pushing!
NO!
No, Tanner, no, no

Tanner, lay down.
NO!
No, Tanner, no, no

Hi, Tanner
NO!
No, Tanner, no, no

Is Mommy tired of the word "no"?
YYYYYeeeeeessss.

Mental & Spiritual Rejuvenation

At the beginning of the year, my company announced that they would be giving us two new personal holidays each year. These personal holidays were to be used for "Mental & Spiritual Rejuvenation". It seemed appropriate to use one of them to go to Tampa this past weekend to meet up with my liver moms.

I knew that Lisa, Laurie, and I would get along. We chat online frequently - 2 - 3 times a week (heck, sometimes twice a day). We both have young little boys who have a transplant, we've been medical mommies for awhile now. So, I really wasn't worried about flying over a thousand miles away to spend the weekend with total strangers.

What I didn't expect from this weekend, was the absolute connection I felt with these women. We didn't have to explain to each other what it's like to be told that you child will need a liver transplant, what choliangitis is, what it feels like to have to take your child in to have labs drawn, or to see machines breathing for your child. They knew... They had been there... They completely understood...

We could sit and talk about bilirubin values, Prograf, and long term side effects of our child's meds without getting that glassy eyed look that often accompanies our other friends and acquaintances. We could discuss the strain that all of this puts on your relationships with family, friends, and your spouse - without the other person thinking you were psychotic or on the verge of divorce. We all know what it's like to lose a friend that can't deal with you because "it's too depressing to be in your life". We were able to share the pain of losing one of "our" liver kids - and cry together.

Now, please don't misread this. We have wonderful family, friends, and neighbors who have been extremely supportive of us through our entire process. But, this was the first time that I've spent time locked away with parents of other biliary atresia babies.

The weekend was so relaxing...a spiritual rejuvenation to say the least. A time when we could let go, remember, relax, and let our guard down. It was an incredible experience to be there - so uplifting. And, as my plane was taking off, it took me awhile to figure out why I had tears rolling down my cheeks. And, then I realized, this was something that I had needed for so long.

So to my friends, Lisa and Laurie, thank you.

Headed to Tampa...

In 24 hours, I'll be jumping on a plane and heading to Tampa. I am excited to finally be meeting Laurie and Lisa. Laurie & Lisa also have a son who had biliary atresia and a liver tranpslant before their first birthday. Tanner was actually the "oldest" at time of transplant - he was 10 months old.

These women have been a HUGE part of my support system through the last two years. We met online in a support group for families of children with liver disease. While there are lots of people on this site, the three of us really seemed to click. I'm excited to finally meet them in person, even if it is a bit weird to spend the weekend with people you've never met.

What I'm not excited about is the new FAA regulations...I flew last night and these regulations were not in place. This means that instead of flying with only carry-on, I will now have to check luggage. Because there is no way that I am going to Tampa without my SPF 45.

It's All About Presentation

In my previous post, you'll note our attempts to bribe our children with cookies to get them to eat vegetables.

Now, my husband and I both work, so cooking a good, nutritious supper means that we don't usually have fresh fruits and vegetables. (Hence, when I turn on the microwave, my kids start saying "Mommy cooking!") Tonight was no exception, I had thrown a very convenient microwavable bag of frozen veggies into the microwave.

When they were done, I placed a few carrots, peas, brocolli & water chestnuts on each of the kid's plates (along with some grapes and meatballs). Tanner threw a crying, bawling fit. Wouldn't touch the veggies - and would only eat the grapes.

After feeding them, Randy & I sat down to eat. I brought the Microwavable Bag of veggies to the table, put some on my plate, and then passed them to the Hubby in front of the boy. Tanner immediately reached inside of the bag and proceeded to eat about 10 pieces of carrots from the bag.

It's all about presentation...

Is it wrong to bribe your child?

We are trying to introduce healthy foods to Tanner & Morgan. This usually means that each meal consists of a fruit and a vegetable. Tanner & Morgan have never been good about eating vegetables, and it's actually deteriorated since they were infants. What they have come to adore is sweets...ice cream, M&Ms, and one of their favorites, cookies.

Tonight, after they had polished off their grapes and at least tasted their meatballs, they were refusing to touch their vegetables. I finally told them that if they ate a piece of brocolli, they could have a cookie. I even went and got the cookies and laid them on the table.

At first, this didn't work. So, I called Daddy in, explained to him that if he ate a piece of brocolli he could have a cookie. Daddy preformed well - and that prompted Morgan to grab the whole piece of brocolli and shove it in her mouth.

She chewed and chewed....went bleck with her tongue...and then chewed about another 73 times. She started to retch, but then Daddy & I started cheering her on. At this point, she slowly swallowed down the brocolli bit by bit...and polished it off with some chocolate milk.

All of that pain and suffering for a cookie...

Work...is...kicking....my....butt

Work is kicking my butt right now. I'm buried up to my eyeballs and sinking quickly. But, don't get me wrong, I'm loving it.

When I came to my current employer almost 2 years ago, I filled a position vacated by a middle-50s guy. He ran the consulting group, which consisted of 3 guys and 1 secretary who traveled the country helping our customer implement their software. This was his only responsibility.

This worked out nicely when I first came on board. Mother of new twins, exhausted (mentally, physically, and emotionally) and at that point, we were very sure that Tanner was headed towards transplant. It fit - I made it work, and even did a few more things. I looked good - doing what really was only a part-time job.

As the kids got older, I grew bored, and started taking on more responsibilities. I did my job well, and more and more was thrown at me. And, then, new ownership entered the picture. They re-organized the company. I had to go "under" someone because I work remotely (I work in Kansas and my employer is in Denver), and I ended up underneath a woman who was actually younger than me and who had no experience running a group of people.

It has not gone well. She's a nice person, but she doesn't understand our entire product line (she knows 2 of 5 products) nor our industry (the mechanical contracting industry - you know, the people who do ductwork, piping, and plumbing). No, you don't necessarily need this to be a manager, but in her role, and the fact that we are a small company, she needs to know more than what she did know. Or at least be willing to learn. It was a frustrating position.

The new ownership has gradually recognized my value. It's not atypical for the owners to receive several glowing letters on my behalf at least 2 - 3 times per month (no, I don't write them on the customer's letterhead, either!). I've gradually become more and more involved in everything from meetings on developing a company vision to how to address our customer's needs. I enjoy it - it's fun.

But, the Bossgirl wasn't liking that. She didn't like the fact that I was invited to more meetings than her - or that I was involved in more than she was. It was rather uncomfortable. So, it was time for me to move.

My new position involves working with customers, sales, marketing - and reviewing all of our internal processes to see where we are weak. I no longer report to Bosslady, or even her boss (the VP of Operations), I'm reporting directly to the owners. Now, the VP of Operations was supposed to tell Bosslady this, but he went camping...in the Boundary Waters....with no phone access...

Definition of F.U.N. - Explaining to your Bosslady that you no longer report to her.

The final anniversary - I swear!

I glanced back through my pictures tonight, and it hit me. This was my due date, 2 years ago. My kids who are now 27 months old - should be celebrating their second birthday today. And, they are supposed to be "caught up" by now.

Happy "adjusted" birthday, babies!

Feeling Better

These anniversaries always get me - and they come so close together, that they really get me down for awhile. I had this same problem last year. I know that it would probably help if I talked to someone, or got the meds, but as Sarah pointed out, if I had time to do all that, I probably wouldn't get so down anyways.

But, the anniversaries are over for now. I'm feeling better - and we've recently joined a workout center that I get to enjoy now. Yes, really, enjoy it! I need to lose a ton of weight (a lot of it gained by eating during stressful times or eating poorly during hospital stays), and I'm one of those people who doesn't lose weight unless I work out. So, hopefully my gym membership will lift my spirits and whittle away the pounds (which will also help lift my spirits).

Yet Another Anniversary

Tomorrow (Saturday, July 22nd) is another anniversary for us. Not one of THOSE anniversaries, but one of those anniversaries. You know, the ones that you wish you didn't have to remember.

Two years ago tomorrow, we packed up our son, who was home just days from the NICU (12 to be exact), and took him back to the NICU. In reality, we were fortunate to be able to return to the NICU and the nurses and doctors that we loved. Most babies don't get to go back once they've left the NICU(he also returned when he was 6.5 months old for a hernia repair surgery).

We went in early that morning, and prepared our son for his second (of many) surgeries. This surgery was the surgery that would chart the course for us - that would confirm all the things that we didn't want to hear - that gave us the diagnosis of biliary atresia.

We knew with this diagnosis that Tanner had a 1/3 chance of never needing a liver transplant, a 1/3 chance of needing a transplant soon, and a 1/3 chance of needing a transplant sometime. We prayed to be in the first group - I was convinced I couldn't handle being in the 2nd or 3rd group. We were in the 2nd.

This year, the anniversary is easier than it was last year. I'm sure next year, it will be even easier. And, at some point, I may not even remember the anniversary. But for now, I remember three things about that day:

1. The absolute pain and fear of letting my child go through those operating doors
2. My "family" of liver moms and dads who have reached out to us in the two years since his surgery.
3. What an absolute miracle my son is - he is a fighter, and yet he giggles his way out of trouble and continuously reaches out to others. He was then, as he is now, my hero.

Memories in Pictures

Two years ago tomorrow (Wednesday) we brought Tanner home from the NICU for the first time...



Randy wasn't able to take the day off work (he had just started a new job), so my dad accompanied me. Now, this would seem fairly "normal", except for the fact that my dad had been in a horrific accident about 7 weeks before the coming home celebration. This is what he looked like with the kids that day:




Now, you can't get the full affect of just how WEIRD my dad looked in that picture, check out this picture. Here, you can see the soft cast on his foot, his halo in full form (not covered by the yellow hospital gown, and the weird attire. Now, my dad is not the snappiest dresser, but when you are wearing a halo, your clothing options are even more limited.




Those first few weeks home with both kids were exhausting. My dad had come to stay with us for about 2 weeks. And, he was very helpful rocking and even feeding the kids - but he wasn't stable enough to carry them. So, someone (me) still had to get the kids up, change diapers, bring the kids to him...well, for the other twin parents out there, you get the picture. And, we won't even mention the night that he rocked Morgan, and when we went out to check on her about 30 minutes later she had her head wedged down between him & the pillow.

During this time, we kept the kids in a pack-n-play during the day when they were sleeping (not sure why since their nursery was 20 feet away, but it worked). It's amazing looking back and seeing how tiny they were...this is a Pack-N-Play - and they are laying in it sideways.



They always ended up laying nose to nose, and I think that is just one of those really cool twin things. We have dozens of pictures from the days of sharing a crib when we'd find that they had cuddled up and close and were sleeping like this.

And, when I look back and see how far they've come, it makes me realize just how fast they are growing up. I'm proud to see that they've come so far, and at the same time, I wish it'd all slow down just a little bit.


One year ago....




This year....

A B C D H LMNOP

Morgan has learned her alphabet...well, mostly. Her sing-song alphabet now goes something like this:

A B C D H LMNOP Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Now I know (mutter mutter) ABCs (mutter mutter ) with me!


However, if quizzed, she knows every letter of the alphabet (to pick it out - or to tell you what it is). It blows me away how quickly she has picked up on this - considering that she knew none of it a month ago.

And, for prosperity's sake, here's Tanner's version of the alphabet...

A B

Mmmmm....yes, just 24 letters short. We're still working on it.

A Photo Post: Then & Now

I've been working on getting all of our photos into Adobe Photoshop to organize them. And, I realized that two of my all-time favorite photos were taken a year ago.





So, I decided to try the same set-up again. It didn't work nearly as well this time (they're much more mobile now, back then, they were only crawling). But, I still like the comparison of the photos.