Tuesday, November 13, 2007


The decision to move / sell our home wasn't an easy one. And, the actual selling of the house has been difficult. Randy has taken it really hard - and rightfully so. Our blood, sweat, and tears are in that home - quite literally. It's a home that we designed and built - and we thought we'd grow pretty darn old there.

It hurts - and I have a small heartache. But, what I can't beleive tonight is that I haven't shed any tears yet. And, then it donned on me - I don't remember the last time I cried.

Oh, I've cried at Extreme Home Makeover and a few movies - but cried over my circumstances, our lives...I don't remember the last time. I think back to Tanner's transplant - I don't remember crying then.

I do remember crying the first few weeks that the kids were born - about Tanner's health circumstances, his PDA, wondering if he were going to make it. I remember crying in Randy's arms in our garage at the uncertainity of it all.

I remember curling up in a ball in our office when we found out about my mom & dad's accident when Tanner & Morgan were 3 weeks old. I remember bawling - fraught with fear - a whole range of emotions.

And, those are the last tears I remember...

I'm sure I would be a wonderful case for a psychologist - if only I had the time, energy, or money...

1 comment:

Amy said...

Congrats on the sale of your home and the move. I know what you mean about sentimental attachment to your home. Though we didn't build ours, this is our first home and the one to which I brought our children after they were born. Our home is an extension of our family, as far as I'm concerned. We just bought some property and plan on building later this year. It breaks my heart to think of leaving here.