Tuesday, February 09, 2010

The Birthmark

Morgan has a birthmark. Ironically, it didn't show up for quite awhile. Born at 27 weeks, the birthmark showed up about 3 weeks before her actual due date. We honestly thought for awhile, that it was a result of my dad holding her while he had a halo on (we though he had hit her head on the metal apparatus around the halo). Finally, our pediatrician told us what it was.


You can kind of see it here - partially hidden under her bangs just above her right eye.

Here's a better shot:


And you can definitely see it in this pic - the pre-hair pic:


So, the problem really isn't the birthmark. I love the birthmark - I love that we have a story that it wasn't there at birth but showed up closer to her due date. I love kissing her birthmark. It's a piece of her, and I think it's beautiful.

But...that isn't how she feels. It makes me so sad that at 5 years old, she is so concerned about her appearance, her hair, what she wears. How, at five years old, can she be so concerned about this little birthmark? She insists on having bangs to cover her birthmark - and will never let me pull them back in case someone else might see the birthmark.

I've talked myself blue in the face about inner beauty vs. outer beauty, that the birthmark is beautiful and it's part of who she is - she isn't buying it.

How do you convey this information to your children?


Laurie said...

Anthony has a "birthmark", too...I don't know what to call it. It's literally all over his body, but it's only noticeable if you really look. On one side of his face, on one butt cheek, and on one arm he has almost no pigment to his skin. During the winter months, it's not as obvious because he's paler. But when we spend a lot of time out in the sun, his skin gets tan - except on those places of no pigment.

Anthony has noticed it, and a friend has teased him about it, but he just says, "God made me this way."...so I have no advice for you. Boys are so different from girls!

You know this: Morgan is beautiful, and her birthmark only makes her MORE unique. She'll figure that out one day, too.

glacierlilies said...

hello...I'm new to blogger, and enjoying the 'next blog' button. I ran across your blog today and just wanted to say, in case your daughter is still feeling bad about this, you can tell her that a complete stranger with no reason to lie stared at her pictures and really can't see it. these things can feel so much more noticeable to us than to other people. If she acts like it's not there, I bet a lot of people won't notice.

if that doesn't help her, maybe when she gets older the harry potter stories would!

sorry to jump in...I just really felt for your daughter. and really don't see the birthmark.

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Mutangili said...

I feel her please give her sometime she will come to know, tell her God created her with it and there is nothing you can do about the birthmark
Am so sorry u are going through this

Rochelle, Mom of Twins said...

I don't have any advice -- just wanted to offer support. It sounds to me like you're doing the right thing. Kids will always find something to tease other kids about. People without birthmarks have things that they are self conscious about. Just keep telling her how beautiful she is. She may always want to wear bangs, but she will surely at some point come to accept the mark.

superman said...

She's so pretty!
Nice blogs!

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