Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Things to Remember Part II

As I walk in the door, I hear our nanny, Ashley, say "Who's home?"

Then I hear pitter-patter, pitter-patter, the pace quickens...pitter-patter, pitter-patter...a little face peeking around the corner and squeaking "mom-ma" as he hurls himself into my arms.

Then, those same little arms circling me and grabbing on tight - a little head planted in the crook of my neck. A soft coo...

I don't want to forget my little boy, the excitement he has when mommy & daddy come home, his unconditional love - or those big, big hugs from my little guy.

Things we say

I didn't realize that I was so predictable.

This morning when I walked into the twins' bedroom, Morgan looked up at me and said "turn!".

It took me a second to realize that for the last 2 months, every morning when I go into get them I say "okay, who's turn is it to go first?". I usually alternate between the kids - or some days just pick the child I heard first or who is clamoring for the most attention.

But, today, Morgan with her "turn" trumped Tanner and she got to go first (even if I didn't ask).

Monday, April 24, 2006

Our Second Worthy Cause

Every day 1 in 8 babies born in the U.S. arrives too soon. Premature birth can happen to any pregnant woman, and no one knows why. It is a serious, common and costly problem. The March of Dimes is leading the campaign to reduce premature birth by supporting research and by educating the public and health care providers.

In a little more than 2 weeks, Randy & I will be putting on our walking shoes, and walking in the March of Dimes walk here in Kansas City. I find it especially appropriate since Tanner & Morgan will be celebrating their 2nd birthday one week prior to this walk. Tanner & Morgan will be joining us in their double jogging stroller.

As most of you know, Tanner & Morgan were born 13 weeks too soon. At only 27 weeks gestation, they weighed in at 2 lb 3.1 oz & 2 lb 3.3 oz. Tanner was 13.25" long & Morgan was 12.5" long. So very, very tiny.

We've recently decided that this is an organization we want to actively support. Without March of Dimes, I may not have received some steroid shots the week before the kids were born. These steroid shots were given to me as a preventative measure "just in case" I went into labor. The steroid shots help develop the lungs of the baby while in utero. Due to these shots, neither or our kids ended up being on the ventilator.

Here's a link to our walksite...there is a picture of Randy holding Tanner & Morgan when they are three weeks old. I'll be adding a picture on this website soon that shows both kids with two dolls that were made to look & feel like they did at birth (size wise).

Please wish us well...taking care of our health has not been a top priority these last two years.

Mommy with her babies - May 19, 2004 - about 20 days old

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Daddy Love You

Whenever I rock my kids (which isn't that often anymore), I have a little made-up song that I sing to them. It goes something like this.

Morgan, Mommy loves you
Morgan, Daddy loves you
Morgan, We both love you
Morgan, You are Loved

Tonight, after I sang it to her, she sang it back to me, but it sounded something like this.

Daddy love you
Daddy love you
Daddy love you
You are loved.

PS...It would be even more heart wrenching if the girl would start calling me mommy and quit calling me daddy.

Friday, April 21, 2006

The End of an Era (I think)

Tonight was the last bottle of milk that my twins will receive at nighttime.

I was going to take away this part of the night time ritual right after their first birthday. When I mentioned it to my mother (who rarely comments on our parenting methods), she full out let me have it. "They were just babies - how could I take their nighttime bottle away!?!?" So, they kept their bottle.

Now, almost a year later, everyone is shocked that we still give them a bedtime bottle. What can I say...it was an easy routine. Every night, we'd eat supper, bathe them (on Sundays, Wednesday, & Fridays), put on Pajamas, play and read books, and then it was bedtime. For almost the last year (since they've been holding their own bottles), Daddy would lave them on a pillow and then lay in between them while they drank their bottle. After they finished off their bottles, they'd drift to sleep - it was an easy routine.

But, two weeks ago, it became apparent that Morgan didn't need her bottle. She'd drink a bit of it - and then start playing with it. Biting on the nipple to keep milk from leaking - or freely letting it dribble down her chin. Then, one night I went to take the bottle from her, and 1/2 the nipple had been bitten off.

We waited until this weekend because daddy had his PE test today...we anticipate a few long nights while they adjust to not having a bottle. And, we'd prefer those sleepless nights happen after that test.

I know Daddy will miss the tiem he gets to spend with his babies - that was his time to lay with them, let them touch his face or hold his hand while they drank their bottles. After bottles, they'd snuggle up with him...sometimes by his side, sometimes on top of his chest.

Goodbye, Bottles.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

So much fun...

I love this picture of Tanner & Morgan. Running through the rock - we waited so long for Tanner to run through the rocks and the fact that they are playing like this together just warms my heart.

Profile of a Toddler

Body Parts that a 2 year old should know

Hands --------- check
Arms ---------- check
Nose ---------- check
Ears ---------- check
Eyes ---------- check
Mouth --------- check
Hair ---------- check
Teeth---------- check
Belly Button -- check
Liver --------- check

What....your two year old doesn't know where their liver is?!?!?

Creatures of Habit

Last night around 10 p.m., Tanner awoke from his sleep crying out. Oftentimes when he does this, it's because he's hungry. I figured this was the case since we had been cutting down their nighttime bottle.

I went in and got him so he wouldn't wake Morgan...as soon as I picked him up, his head landed on my shoulder and he snuggled in. It was obvious he didn't want milk - just a little love.

So, I rocked him and sang to him - gently rubbing his back. For the first time in months, I got to hold my sleeping baby...peaceful and beautiful.

Finally around 10:30, I put him back down in his bed. I didn't realize how much of a habbit our tuck-in routine is until I put him in bed - and half asleep, he still followed our normal routine.

As soon as he hit the mattress, he flipped over on his tummy, pulled his feet under his bottom, and then lifted his left arm so that I could stick nestle his babydoll in under his arm, and then tuck him in.

Sunday, April 16, 2006


We called 9-1-1 today in our home for the first time for a "true emergency".

We were eating lunch today - a very healthy Easter Feast including Peas & Carrots, leftover pizza, cheetos, and the candy-coated Kisses (yummy & nutritious, huh?). I went to give Morgan her medicine, and when it went down, something went wrong.

I'm not sure if it took something with it - or if it went down the wrong pipe. But, she started choking, coughing, sputtering...and this continued, and her eyes watered, and she turned blue. She gagged, she threw up, and was even bluer.

She then passed out....

That was when I yelled to Randy to call 9-1-1. I snapped her out of the high chair, wiped her face, pounded on her back, and she started to gradually wake up. Still coughing and with some crackling in her lungs.

A few minutes later we had a sheriff here (he was only a few blocks away) - followed by the DeSoto Volunteer Squad, the Johnson County rescue fire department, the EMT, and another sheriff. The neighbors have got to wonder what happened.

Because I believe the Cheetos were to blame, they are currently banned from my house.

Proof That She's My Daughter

After leaving church this morning, I told Morgan we were going shopping.

She looked up at me and said "Target?"

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Things to Remember Part I

1. We've recently started watching Sesame Street in the morning. Now, whenever Morgan wants to see Sesame Street, she comes to us, begging, saying "Street", "Street". She hasn't picked up the Sesame part.

2. We bought a used Castle today for $20. Such a bargain when they are $350 new (it did cost another $26 to rent a Home Depot truck so that we could actually get it home). The kids LOVE it, especially Tanner. After unloading it, we let the kids play in it for about 5 - 10 minutes before we returned the rented truck to Home Depot. I actually had to crawl into the Castle to drag Tanner out of it (kicking & screaming).

3. Proof that she can show affection....while in Target last night, Tanner briefly disappeared out of Morgan's sight. Whenever he does this, and we are out in public, all you hear is her little voice going "Tan-ner", "Tan-ner".

Friday, April 14, 2006

My son, the model

Randy & I have gradually become aware of the fact that there are three "causes" that we would like to support...by participating, spreading the good word, and doing whatever we can to help out.

One of those "causes" is the American Liver Foundation. Why? Biliary Atresia is a deadly disease. There are about 250 babies born each year with this disorder (1 in 16,000 or so). They do not know the cause of biliary atresia, yet it is the leading cause of liver transplant in children. And, while yes, Tanner no longer has BA because of his transplant, we've really traded one set of problems for another. But, there is no known cause...and until they know WHY something happens, they can't very well figure out a way to make it STOP happening. That's what we want - a cure for this disease.

So, last night, Tanner participated in the ALF's 4th Annual Fashion Show here in Kansas City. What a big day for a little guy. Randy escorted him in the show, and looked quite dapper in his out plaid shirt, light pants, and spring green jacket. But, Tanner stole the show.

Randy carried Tanner down the stairs...and when they got to the runway, he put Tanner down. I was a bit nervous, figuring Tanner would immeidately turn to Randy and want "uuu-P", but he didn't. Instead, he walked holding daddy's finger down the runway. At the end of the runway, he waved to the crowd, and when the announcer said "and Tanner received a liver transplant in 2005" - well, the whole crowd gasped. He's just a little guy - who would have guessed?

But, the show stealer happened as Tanner was getting to depart the stage...just before he was to be picked up again, he turned back to the crowd, and blew them all a big kiss. Of course, there was a collective "ahhhh" in the crowd. And, the rest of the night, wherever we went, we heard "there's the little boy who blew the kiss".

I have to admit a few tears while I watched him up there...partially because of the liver transplant, and partially because he's growing up so darn fast.

A New Start

Off to a new start....

I've been thinking a lot lately, I've kept up with our personal life as well as Tanner's medical story on his CaringBridge Site. And, that's fine - that is what it was for when he was sick.

But really, Tanner's pretty good these days. He takes his Prograf in the morning & at night - he has a little silver scar that runs across his belly, and a little silver "H" over his heart. But, otherwise he looks healthy...

A site devoted to Tanner, isn't necessarily fair anymore. I want something to include Morgan...to tell her stories, tributes, and triumphs. To proudly display her picture, as well as Tanner's.

So, I'm going to use this site to catch those moments with my kids - record them - remember them. So that when they get old & gray - hopefully they will have something that they can refer back to (because Lord knows with my memory, I won't be able to remember it.)