Monday, July 31, 2006

The final anniversary - I swear!

I glanced back through my pictures tonight, and it hit me. This was my due date, 2 years ago. My kids who are now 27 months old - should be celebrating their second birthday today. And, they are supposed to be "caught up" by now.

Happy "adjusted" birthday, babies!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Feeling Better

These anniversaries always get me - and they come so close together, that they really get me down for awhile. I had this same problem last year. I know that it would probably help if I talked to someone, or got the meds, but as Sarah pointed out, if I had time to do all that, I probably wouldn't get so down anyways.

But, the anniversaries are over for now. I'm feeling better - and we've recently joined a workout center that I get to enjoy now. Yes, really, enjoy it! I need to lose a ton of weight (a lot of it gained by eating during stressful times or eating poorly during hospital stays), and I'm one of those people who doesn't lose weight unless I work out. So, hopefully my gym membership will lift my spirits and whittle away the pounds (which will also help lift my spirits).

Friday, July 21, 2006

Yet Another Anniversary

Tomorrow (Saturday, July 22nd) is another anniversary for us. Not one of THOSE anniversaries, but one of those anniversaries. You know, the ones that you wish you didn't have to remember.

Two years ago tomorrow, we packed up our son, who was home just days from the NICU (12 to be exact), and took him back to the NICU. In reality, we were fortunate to be able to return to the NICU and the nurses and doctors that we loved. Most babies don't get to go back once they've left the NICU(he also returned when he was 6.5 months old for a hernia repair surgery).

We went in early that morning, and prepared our son for his second (of many) surgeries. This surgery was the surgery that would chart the course for us - that would confirm all the things that we didn't want to hear - that gave us the diagnosis of biliary atresia.

We knew with this diagnosis that Tanner had a 1/3 chance of never needing a liver transplant, a 1/3 chance of needing a transplant soon, and a 1/3 chance of needing a transplant sometime. We prayed to be in the first group - I was convinced I couldn't handle being in the 2nd or 3rd group. We were in the 2nd.

This year, the anniversary is easier than it was last year. I'm sure next year, it will be even easier. And, at some point, I may not even remember the anniversary. But for now, I remember three things about that day:

1. The absolute pain and fear of letting my child go through those operating doors
2. My "family" of liver moms and dads who have reached out to us in the two years since his surgery.
3. What an absolute miracle my son is - he is a fighter, and yet he giggles his way out of trouble and continuously reaches out to others. He was then, as he is now, my hero.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Memories in Pictures

Two years ago tomorrow (Wednesday) we brought Tanner home from the NICU for the first time...

Randy wasn't able to take the day off work (he had just started a new job), so my dad accompanied me. Now, this would seem fairly "normal", except for the fact that my dad had been in a horrific accident about 7 weeks before the coming home celebration. This is what he looked like with the kids that day:

Now, you can't get the full affect of just how WEIRD my dad looked in that picture, check out this picture. Here, you can see the soft cast on his foot, his halo in full form (not covered by the yellow hospital gown, and the weird attire. Now, my dad is not the snappiest dresser, but when you are wearing a halo, your clothing options are even more limited.

Those first few weeks home with both kids were exhausting. My dad had come to stay with us for about 2 weeks. And, he was very helpful rocking and even feeding the kids - but he wasn't stable enough to carry them. So, someone (me) still had to get the kids up, change diapers, bring the kids to him...well, for the other twin parents out there, you get the picture. And, we won't even mention the night that he rocked Morgan, and when we went out to check on her about 30 minutes later she had her head wedged down between him & the pillow.

During this time, we kept the kids in a pack-n-play during the day when they were sleeping (not sure why since their nursery was 20 feet away, but it worked). It's amazing looking back and seeing how tiny they were...this is a Pack-N-Play - and they are laying in it sideways.

They always ended up laying nose to nose, and I think that is just one of those really cool twin things. We have dozens of pictures from the days of sharing a crib when we'd find that they had cuddled up and close and were sleeping like this.

And, when I look back and see how far they've come, it makes me realize just how fast they are growing up. I'm proud to see that they've come so far, and at the same time, I wish it'd all slow down just a little bit.

One year ago....

This year....

Saturday, July 08, 2006


Morgan has learned her alphabet...well, mostly. Her sing-song alphabet now goes something like this:


Now I know (mutter mutter) ABCs (mutter mutter ) with me!

However, if quizzed, she knows every letter of the alphabet (to pick it out - or to tell you what it is). It blows me away how quickly she has picked up on this - considering that she knew none of it a month ago.

And, for prosperity's sake, here's Tanner's version of the alphabet...


Mmmmm....yes, just 24 letters short. We're still working on it.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

A Photo Post: Then & Now

I've been working on getting all of our photos into Adobe Photoshop to organize them. And, I realized that two of my all-time favorite photos were taken a year ago.

So, I decided to try the same set-up again. It didn't work nearly as well this time (they're much more mobile now, back then, they were only crawling). But, I still like the comparison of the photos.