Tear-Less

The decision to move / sell our home wasn't an easy one. And, the actual selling of the house has been difficult. Randy has taken it really hard - and rightfully so. Our blood, sweat, and tears are in that home - quite literally. It's a home that we designed and built - and we thought we'd grow pretty darn old there.

It hurts - and I have a small heartache. But, what I can't beleive tonight is that I haven't shed any tears yet. And, then it donned on me - I don't remember the last time I cried.

Oh, I've cried at Extreme Home Makeover and a few movies - but cried over my circumstances, our lives...I don't remember the last time. I think back to Tanner's transplant - I don't remember crying then.

I do remember crying the first few weeks that the kids were born - about Tanner's health circumstances, his PDA, wondering if he were going to make it. I remember crying in Randy's arms in our garage at the uncertainity of it all.

I remember curling up in a ball in our office when we found out about my mom & dad's accident when Tanner & Morgan were 3 weeks old. I remember bawling - fraught with fear - a whole range of emotions.

And, those are the last tears I remember...

I'm sure I would be a wonderful case for a psychologist - if only I had the time, energy, or money...